Possibly a strain of JC virus. A mutated form of water from the planet Psi that spreads by perspiration or small cuts in the skin and causes its victims to act in a way similar to intoxication. Most likely a strain of streptococcus. Caused by a synthetic T-cell which mistakenly activated introns in one's DNA. There is no cure at the moment. In the past it was thought that damage to a specific part of the brain would always result in a specific type of aphasia, for example, damage to the Broca's area would always result in Broca's aphasia. The cure was hearing anything depressing like the song " Moonlight Sonata ".
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List of fictional diseases
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Created by the living star Solaristhis plague was caused by nanomachines. The portrait said that he believed Ron had this disease, due to the " unsightly blemishes " on his face. A disease that causes anyone who catches it to say nothing but 'Eeee-yakkaboo!